Murdock [Requiem v1.2]

Released.

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:12:49 GMT

Alright, because I have neglected this poor journal so much, and because I am in the mood... I have decided that I will directly link you to my newer, current journal.
I pretty much doubt people even check this journal out, except for maybe Leslie and Amanda... but if you wash upon these shores looking for me, I will safely direct you to the forbidden realm of:

coffinkittie

Where Are The Lucky Charms?

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 02:41:08 GMT

I know.
I have been avoiding this journal a lot, haven't I?
It has nearly been nine years I have had this.
In fact, by the the 26th of June, it will be.
I feel bad that I have moved on to my other journal.
But I am a new person.
I also just started a new journal.
That one will be for some serious article type entries.

Come the 14th, it will be six years for Ghost and I.
Can you believe it?
Crazy, huh?

Out Like A Light

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 14:57:43 GMT

Is has been awhile, eh?
I know I should be posting more here, but my life is so different from Murdock now.
My family is beautiful.
My life is sweet.
And those people who ever said anything have been proven wrong.
It has been 5 1/2 years that I have been with Ghost...
Can you believe it?

Not Forever And A Day

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 17:36:59 GMT

Yes.
A Post.
A short one, at that.
I thought I might say hello.
I am not dead, yet.
(So stop asking Spike.)

I miss you all.
Did you even notice I was away?
::evil smile::

Prehaps I will check in next Tuesday.

... Then I Can Understand the You.

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 18:44:00 GMT

It's been about three years and six months.

I had two people close to me saying Ghost would lie.
That it would be bad,
That I'd get hurt.

I had one closer friend bothered by the relationship.
It took my time away.
It took me away.

I had one older flame saying shit.
Telling me that the Ghost would become a memory.
I would be left with a haunting feeling.

I had one friend that was happy for me.

It's been about three years and six months.

I would never change a thing.
Because "now I see the sun".

There is a reality outside the glass.
It's deeper than anything a wired (or wireless) connection can give.
It's more than text on a screen.
I made the choice to grow up,
And out.
To fight for what I wanted,
To work hard and long,
And I found what I wanted.
With the blessings of some higher powers I believe.

I believe in happiness.
I believe in true love...
And for that I am truly blessed
With things more profound than material wealth.

I'm going to have a family soon.
I'm going to have a real reason to continue...
Something beyond the day-to-day survival.

I would not change a thing.

It's been about three years and six months...
I expect a hundred more to come.

Dead Men Working, A Sinner, A Saint.

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 04:32:19 GMT

I know.
I haven't quite been paying attention to my journal.
My life has changed so much.
I'm grown a lot into myself
Since I started this journal 6 years or so ago.

Finally being back online is refreshing.
I am keeping a journal here on livejournal.
A more personal journal,
With nonsense on a daily basis.
It's more who I am now...
But at the same time has nothing to do with Murdock.

Murdock is not all dead,
But most of Murdock is.

I sitll haven't got a job.
It's hard when you only have three months to offer an employer.
And at minimal work.

I'll have a full-time job in January.
One I will not be paid money for.
I will be paid in full:
With emotions,
Smiles,
And scrapped knees...
First days,
Broken hearts,
And hopefully a million hugs.

I don't miss working 52 hours a week.
But I do miss working.
And my friends there.
And money...
I'll not get started,
I don't want to stress myself out.

I'm here.
Just not as Murdock.
If you are truly interested in knowing of my other (more stupid) journal
Let me know.

Long And Weary...

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 08:01:46 GMT

I've been up to pretty much nothing.
I guess I'll start working again soon...
I've made many applications.
And Tuesday I apply for auditing.
I hope I get it.
I could use it on my resume in the future.

Your Lips Move, But I Can't Hear What You Say...

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 14:51:20 GMT

The daylight gives me a headache.

I have come to the realization that I am changing.
I haven't seen that dark depression in so long...
I seen disappointment.
I've been annoyed.
I've be upset.
But I just haven't seen those days in a long time.

I'm different now.
I embrace who I am.
Even though I am a dork.

I like what I like.
So what?

I still feel a empty place though.
I'm still trying to figure out what goes there.
Maybe I will find out soon.

Attack Of The Carpet Aliens!

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 23:20:44 GMT

I'm wondering why I bother to be awake in the day.
I might as well sleep.
I'm dying from heat.

I worked my asre off last night...
Must of lost twenty pounds from sweating...
::sighs::
Hopefully it will pay off.

Things are looking better...
For now...
At least here.

I need a life.
... and a job...

Badly Drawn

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 12:58:40 GMT

Still getting up too early,
But soon as I'm done with breakfast I'm going back to bed.

So what have I done from my list to do?
Practically nothing.
I'm not too suprised.

I did work on Blood Secrets a little,
Did a rough re-start on one of the stories.
I did a little bit of art,
But nothing decent yet.
::shrugs::
I don't know if I'm going to worry about it.
I'm just too lazy right now.
And I want this time off...
::blinks::

The World Was On Fire

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 16:20:25 GMT

I am a zombie...
Day light kills.

It's starting to get very hot in here.
I think Alaska sounds good about now.
It's 54 degree there...
Compared to 84 (right now) here.

No Gain...

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 11:45:40 GMT

Holy cow...
It's 7:40 in the morning...
And I'm not tired...
I need to stop sleeping in the evening hours...
I'm screwing myself up bad.

So I didn't go to the Pink Floyd laser light show Friday...
Or Old Town last night...
Or do anything interesting whatsoever...
I want to kick myself...
And stop sleeping so much.

I Wish I Would Have Met You

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 05:06:50 GMT

Here is a picture of usagi and coffinkittie.

(Yes, Kittie has a belly...
She's expecting a demon spawn).
I got annoyed with my art program so I coloured it by hand.
That was probably a mistake.
(I have no clue how to shade...
And I have no flesh coloured pencil...
I had to improvise...)

I will work on a background later,
If I don't get bored with it first.
::frowns::

I finally did something, though.
Now, can I stay creative this vacation?
It would be a shame to waste all this time...

List of things to do on my vacation:
-Find a better job (after usagi comes down).
-Draw, draw, draw!
-Do at least twenty Kittie pictures...
-Try to get a website up.
-Work on BloodSecrets and Porcelian.
-Get a Mongo and Kittie page in the works.
-Have fun.
-Take care of myself.
-Clean house.
-Fix Lenore. She needs her brake light replaces and her rear view mirror put back on.
-Catch up with the few friends I have.

Bottled Lights From Hotels

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 02:57:28 GMT

So.
I have an idea for how political campaigns should be done.
They should do telly adverts about all their dirt.
The darker and deeper the better.
That way we can't find shit when they make it to office.
I think we know more about a person by their worst actions...
Their mistakes.
And if they admit to it,
Then they know they can't really get away with it again...
Because we have an eye on them.
I'm tired of all this good shit about yourself,
Then bashing you opponent.
Beat them to the punchline...

Tell us you voted against same sex marriage.
Tell us what you got arrested for when you were sixteen.
Tell us about the college final you cheated on.
Tell us how you sold porno pages a dollar a piece on the playground when you were ten.
Tell us how you keyed your ex-wives car when she got re-engaged.
Tell us you got a DUI.
Tell us you got charged for sexual harrassment (and they got dropped).

Then we know we are voting for the lesser of two evils.

::shrugs::
Just a weird thought.

The Bullets Scream To Me From Somewhere

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 01:41:12 GMT

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

[[I stole this from usagi, it's from back in December... lol]]

But We All Know The Hat Is Wearing Me

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 08:46:48 GMT

I've completely lost a day.
I went to bed sometimes yester-day morning around 7.
I ended up waking up at 5 p.m.

Ghost decides we should take Ricky and his wife out for dinner,
As their anniversary was recently and we working then.
So we went down to Pizza Hut on Cocoa Beach.
I ate one slice of my personal pan pizza and two bread sticks.
I wasn't terribly hungry.
Which is just weird.

We got to see a lady fall and hit her head.
They called in the paramedics and offered to take her to the hospital.
(Which I feel you should never turn down.)
She was seriously very disoriented.
She turned them down and ended up leaving with her family and/or friends.

When Ghost and I left and took 520 down to Wal-Mart
I could have sworn I saw the same van she got into.
It was on the side of the road with the hazard lights on.
It makes me worried...
Head tramuas are serious.

So Ghost and I ended up picking up some cleaning supplies.
Came home and cleared the room out and set up the air mattress in the living room.
It's comfy.
We're using it for a couch (which we lack).
We bought some dumb movie...
Ice Age and The Bride Of Chucky.
I ate my left over pizza and bread sticks.
And laid down when Ghost put the Bride of Chucky in.
I feel asleep.
Apparently I was snoring.
I have just been so tired.

I slept from about, uh, 11 until 3:30...

Where did Monday go?

I'm hungry now.
:-P

No Ninja, No Service

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 22:40:08 GMT

All right...
I'm home...
Why?
Because they resigned me to-day...
It was going to be my last day anyways...
I'm still being paid.
They just didn't want me working Bahama night,
Because they will not be able to verify my drawer afterwards.
So...
I'm off...
And I'm so happy...
And tired...
And...
It's raining.
A lot.
::half-hearted wheee::
I'm just feeling kind of out of it...

So last night I ran to Wal-Mart to buy new boots...
Because my others bite the dust, bad...
Like the whole heel was loose to nearly the front...
But I can't wear sneakers with colour to work...
So...
I need shoes for my last day of work?
I didn't even get to work it...
But I have pretty new boots...
Because I hate any other kind of shoe...

And yay! For Auto-save on Livejournal.
My power flicked out...

So...
This means, now that I am on vacation, that:
I get to update my journal more often.
I get to e-mail more often.
I get to try to build my webpage back...
I get to clean house...
I get to fix my car...
I get to see usagi!
I get to sleep in.
I get to wash clothes...
I get to eat decently...
I get to draw and write again.

I have time...
That I am excited about.

Starting Tuesday I will be getting back to normal...
No more six days a week away from home (or more)...
To-morrow won't be like a day off though...
Ghost is off and we have things to do.

Oh! And Saturday I get to go to Old town!
::does jig in head::
I wish I could kick this cold...
I want to be more outwardly excited!

(And when the hell did I start this thing where
the subject line is to have nothing to do
whatsoever with the entry?)

Small Trappings

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 14:10:53 GMT

I hate colds...

I got a bill yester-day from the Health Department
(Instead of my GiantMicrobes that I've been waiting for.)
For $950...
I didn't even have anything done on the date in question...
And my insurance would have picked it up.
So I tried calling the number the bill gave.
A million rings, a few calls, and twenty minutes later:
I couldn't even get an answering machine, let alone a person...
So I called around until someone gave me a working number.
(The first one they gave me was out of service.)
And that lady tells me her computers are down
So she can do nothing...
She says someone will call me back Monday.
I'm not paying $950!
I have no clue what could have been done for that crazy amount...
It's a godrammed Health Department!

Selene just tried to jump on the mini-fridge to get my attention and missed.
There is catfood all over the floor...
And I'm too tired to fix it now...
I'm going back to bed soon...

I'm questioning the cold pizza in the fridge.
I asked if it was okay for me to eat him/her...
No answer.
I'll try again later.

I'm going to try to sleep again.

Why I Wear Combat Boots

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 09:58:04 GMT

This is how I feel right now...

I'm icky, sicky...
And getting weird...
I thought I'd do a quiz...
I wanted to open up...
But I have more to say than I've the strenght.
So...
Uh...
Yeah.
(Four more nights of work! Yay!)

01. Grab the book nearest you, turn to page 18 and find line 4.
"She got up, I suppose to get the glove. Monica beat her to it.
02. Stretch out your left arm as far as you can. What can you touch?
Air
03. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
House M. D.
04. Without looking, guess what time it is.
5:20 a.m.
05. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
5:24 a.m.
06. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The fan and a/c.
07. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Just about twenty minutes ago... I went shopping for cold medicine.
08. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Some really weird livejournal community that died sometime ago.
09. What are you wearing?
Pirate pjs and a pirate shirt...
10. Did you dream last night?
That Amanda beat me with mum's old pink brush for not giving her $200 after I bought this huge manor (but had no money left)... I offered her $2 and she had a fit.
11. When did you last laugh?
When watching House...
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Uh stuff... Uh, curtains and a coffin purse, headphones hanging from a tack... a hello kitty should bag... uh a belt... uh... lots and lots of stuff...
13. Seen anything weird lately?
A blind man hitchhiking down in Sebation some time ago... it screams scam to me... like loudly!
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Uh... yeah...
15. What is the last film you saw?
Pirates 2
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A house.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
My carpet looks reddish compared to my curtains.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
Uh, if you declare war, you physcially go fight in it with the troops...
19. Do you like to dance?
Uh, when it is dark and no one sees me...
20. George Bush:
Chimp
21. Imagine your first child is a girl. What do you call her?
Zoey Emily
22. Imagine your first child is a boy.
Vincent
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Oh yeah.
24. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate?
I want him/her to yell my name out and run up to me for a BIG hug... Like an old friend (or parent) that has missed me so much... Tears would be cool...
25. 3 people who must also do this quiz in their LJ:
Uh...
usagi
Uhh... repeat... x2

Bad Bad Kitty

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 08:33:00 GMT

Everything has gone weird.
I hate politics at work.
I hate how people lie to me.
::shrugs::

I'm working on some crazy plans.

I put my two weeks in.
I'm going to take 30 days off
Then reapply for the position I want.
If it's gone by then,
Oh well.
I can't do this anymore.

I'm still feeling very sick.
I bloody sneezed the other day...
And that made me have to throw up.
How crazy?

I can't eat...
Especially at work.
That's ten hours when I can't really eat.
At this point that's becoming very unsafe.
Along with the other things.
I'm done.
For now...
If the position I want is filled
By the time I go back...
Then I might go back to the Cage
Part-time...
Like maybe three or four days a week...
No more...

I want a nice quiet job now...
Desk job, data entry...
Something...
::shrugs::
I'll figure that out later.

Like I said...
I'm taking a 30 day vacation...
And I want it to be that...
Then I'll start wondering what to do...
Where to start working...
I'm pretty safe for now, money-wise...
It might be tight, but I can do it...
(and I'm hoping to talk to my Bunnie
To see if there is a time during my month off
That she might be able to come down--
Ghost has mostly okayed it...
But it happened at work to-night while we were talking...
I can't wait to talk to her about it...)

I really feel weird about this...
But I need the time off at this point.
I need to feel safe
And better...
I can still go back...
I'm leaving on good terms...
And there is no reason why Peggie wouldn't.
We'll see...

I just hope I'm not messing things up.

Useless Information Of The Day:
Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!

You're After My Lucky Charms

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 09:01:38 GMT

I was trying to convince myself on the drive home
That it was okay to close my eyes for just a second...
That it will be okay...
I've gone mad.
I can only think of a few times I've been this tired...
(Like that ten mile walk in Kissimee-St. Cloud
When the Prelude blew two tires...
I'll never forget that day...)

That only reason I'm still up is I'm hungry...
And too tired to move yet...
I'll have to talk myself into dragging myself into bed.

Oh my God!
That stupid scrubbed shuttle launch gave me two hours in traffic!
528 was backed up like mad.
I left earlier than normal...
And ended up being a whole hour late...
Two hours!
In Florida sun!
Argh!
Staring at the arse of a Southern Comfort conversion van.
And...
Because the launch has been resceduled for this afternoon...
The traffic will be back!

I will cry now.

Work still sucks.
Just thought I'd point that out.
:^/

Useless Information Of the Day:
It only takes 7 lbs of pressure to rip off your ears.

Nutter Butter Wrapper

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 15:25:33 GMT

I'm up for my version of a midnight snacking.
I've been doing this everyday now...
At least the past maybe two weeks...
To-day's menu:
Teriyaki Chicken with rice and veggies.
I hope it's good.
This is the only meal lately I'm always been able to keep down.

I know it's been awhile since I posted.
I've been so tired lately.
I've lost 15lbs in the last three-four weeks...
(Because I haven't been able to eat so well.)
One thing I have had luck with is rice.
So maybe this is, again, my new staple.

Two of my friends lost their grandfathers this week.
::frowns::
My heart is with them.
I know they are both going through a lot.
I worry about them.
I hope they're doing okay.
(Even though I know they're not-
I know this is a rough time for them...)
I hope they don't forget to rememeber the good things about life...
And smile and laugh.
I really wish I could physcially be there with usagi.
I wish I could wrap her in a warm embrace...
And sit her down with a nice hot cocoa (or iced mocha frappicino- seeing how it's hot outside)...
And let her reminisce about her bapa.
...

Usless Information Of The Day:
Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression 'to get fired.'

Jelly Bean Suicide

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 14:40:35 GMT

I still have not been feeling better.
Candy helps...
::laughs::
At least the fruity kind does...
Not chocolate...
Ew.

Ghost and I went to Olive Garden last night.
The whole play is staffed by school kids.
::twitch::
The first time Ghost ever when to a restuarant with me...
Besides buffet or fast food...
:-P

Then we went to Fairvilla...
I spent just under a hundred dollars on new toys...
::evil laugh::
I'm so bad.
I need to be punished.
Speaking of punishment:
Nightmare is in heat.
She's trying to hump my leg.
::kick, kick::
Someone help me!

I had a dream...
With a song I haven't heard in a long time...
And it wasn't on my cd player,
Because the album had stopped hours before...
(And I wouldn't have that song anyway!)
It's creepy...
I mean really creepy...
To wake up with a Micheal Jackson song playing in your head...
(You Wanna Be Starting Something?)

Okay...
I think I'll go back to bed soon.
Just thought I'd update.
It's been awhile.

Useless Information Of The Day:
Sound travels 15 times faster through steel than through the air.

Another Sunrise

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 10:02:55 GMT

Uh,
So I missed another tropical storm.
(I didn't know there was one until it was already affecting us.)
I never watch the news.
I wonder what I would do if there was a big threat,
How would I know?
This has happened before...
Like when John and I went down to Orlando for the Alien vs. Predator movie...
And everything was closed in the afternoon...
And we were like what the--...
And then got caught after in a horrible, horrible thunderstorm (Charlie)...
I remember we saw a tornado forming on the way back to Cocoa that afternoon.

I'm cooking rice in the microwave...
"Wow!" to the inventions of man.
I need a stove...
Among other things.
I miss home cooked meals.

I bought a really crappy digital camera last night,
And Ghost and I went to see the Omen.
It rained like a mother!
Oh my, it was such an amazing sight!
When we went down the 404 to get from A1A to my mother's
It was looming darkness at four in the afternoon.
It was just completely breathtaking!

I went to bed, for a nap, at ten p.m.
(Which is why I didn't get the phone call from usagi)
Is that scary or what!?
I'm just so tired.

And I'll be going back to bed again soon,
I'm sure.

Useless Information Of The Day:
Under the law of Mississippi, there’s no such thing as a female Peeping Tom.

Handcuffed To Railings

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 08:21:18 GMT

Okay.
Some people are just weird...
I want to say mean, and rude...
But I don't know the motive...
But God!

To-day we started out short-handed...
(And I wasn't in a good mood,
I'd almost handed in my badge the night before:
Long story).
The night was not going well...
One of our cashiers was in the hospital,
The casinos were busy-busy...
And halfway through the night the new girl decides to quit...
In the middle of the shift,
About fifteen miles for shore.
It's not like she can go home,
We're not turning the ship around for her...
So a horrible night turned worse...

I just now got home,
And my first bit of food since twenty hours ago is in the microwave.
I'm so tired,
(I could have literally fallen asleep at the wheel driving home)
And HUNGRY!
(And it's not the smiling hungry like in the dancing icon below).

Why does this not get better?

And, this is kind of embrassing:
I took a shower before work,
And completely intended on making sure to put my deodorant on.
I even moved it into plain sight...
And I didn't...
And I live in Florida...
Driving with no air...
In 96 degree weather...
And running my fat arse off at work...
::frowns::
.dork.

And now I just burned my tongue!
::sighs::
>^o^<

Useless Information Of the Day:
In July 1981, a tortoise was sentenced to death for murder. Tribal leaders in an eastern Kenyan village formally condemned the tortoise because they suspected it of causing the deaths of six people by magic. However, because none of the villagers was prepared to face the tortoise's wrath by carrying out the execution, it was chained to a tree instead. The tortoise was later freed after the government promised an inquiry into the six deaths.